A New Relationship with Food

I began this blog as a way to explore 'wanting'. 

I think sometimes as spiritual seekers, we get the wagon before the horse and try to embrace teachings that we don't really understand. Nothing wrong with wanting to embrace a teaching that we believe will serve our growth!  Still, I want to look deep down inside and see if I can find the core of the teaching.  I want to understand.

Wanting...is it bad?  If one's primary practice is aimed at detachment and dispassion, wanting may seem to be the enemy, but what if wanting is natural part of being human?  Can 'wanting' be used in the service of spiritual growth?

I wrote  this poem about 20 years ago-

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The Terrible Want

There's a terrible want in my soul
that needs anything and everything to fill it
and nothing is enough
I wonder, will I ever be free?

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How do we fill that 'God sized hole' inside?

That's the question that I have been asking for most of my life.  Just a shift in perception, and one may see that the question is NOT whether the glass is half empty OR half full. The real question is, what's happening with the water in the glass?

Fasting

Boy, oh boy...do I ever NOT like fasting.  But my body needs a break from food right now, so I'm feeding other parts of me instead.  For some strange reason, I never remember that I can go check books out at the Library here at Yogaville.  I'm always looking in the boutique or buying books on Amazon. Today though, I checked out "The Bean Trees".  

I'm also photographing food.  If I can't eat it, at least I can LOOK at it!  ;-)

Still Wanting

Humm....it seems that this blog (for the moment anyway!) is about wanting.  I've been wanting to take good care of this body.  I've been wanting to settle down here in Virginia, to find ways to really snuggle in here and call this place HOME.  I've also been wanting to take better care of my kids.  Sure, they're grown, but do we ever stop needing our Mama?  I think not.

I've been thinking about food too.  What goes in?  Does it make me feel strong and able?  What comes in to my eyes, my ears?  What thoughts do I allow my mind to dwell on?  Some of my thoughts are NOT what I want to feed on!  SO- I say my mantra. Sometimes a thousands of times a day (or more!). 

OM OM OM.....

What I want

Wanting:  Is it something that directs creativity and fuels forward motion?  Or is it something that will steal peace of mind?  Or both?

This is a question that I've been asking myself.  At this moment, it seems to me that selfishness is the tipping point...if there is a bit of self interest in the wanting, it's going to bring me some kind of trouble.  If not, it may be the spark that sets the creative flame in motion.